Le Morte Arthur (lines 728-759)

And then one day theKing set forth

      To hunt with all hisknights;

They rode to the forestfor the chase,

     The sport and its delights.

But Lancelot planned tosee the Queen

     And so lay long in bed,

They went to meet herin her room,

     And gracious greetingsaid.

 First he kissed hercourteously,

     That lady full ofgrace,

And then her maidswhose joy ran down

     In tears on every face.

‘Ah, Lancelot,’ said the Queen, ‘that ever

     Iset myeyes on you!

Alas that it is gonefor ever,

     The love that we onceknew!

‘Alas, Sir Lancelot duLake,    

     Who have my heart inhold,

That you have taken theEarl’s daughter,

     Of Ascolot as I’m told!

Now for her sake youcease to be

     A warrior daring-bold,

And I must wake andweep in woe

     Till clay shall claspme cold.

 

‘But Lancelot, I beg younow,

     Since it must needs beso,

Never to tell a singlesoul

     Of the love we used toknow,

And never to let yourlove for her

     Enfeeble your knightlyfame,

For though my fate iswoe, I wish

     To hear you winacclaim.

Trans.Brian Stone, King Arthur's Death and Le Morte D'Arthur.  London, Penguin,1988.

Illustrations:

1. AlexKatz,  Blue Umbrella, 1979-80.

2. AlexKatz, Self-Portrait at Cheat Lake, 1969.

3. AlexKatz,  Pas de Deux,Vicki Hudspeth and Wally Turbeville, 1994.

4. AlexKatz, Pas de Deux, Red Grooms and Lizzy Ross, 1994.

5. Alex Katz, Black Scarf, 1996.

On Obsession

‘Then what do you want from life, Netta?’ he asked.  ‘What are you gettingat in it all?’

      When theirfood had come he had ordered wine, and now, if not drunk, he was careless andbold with drink.  Otherwise he wouldnever have asked her a serious, direct question like that.  To ask Netta a serious direct question, inthe ordinary way, was simply to ask for one of those hideous cuts across thesoul she knew so well how to administer. But now, because of what he had drunk, he felt he could take the cut ifit came.  If it hurt, he wasanaesthetized.

      They hadfinished their meal and were having coffee. Eddie Carstairs was still at his table in the corner, though most of theother tables were deserted.  There were,however, three people making a good deal of noise at a table nearby, so hecould speak in a normal voice without being overheard.

      ‘What do youmean?’ she said.  ‘What do I want fromlife?’   

      ‘Just what do you want from it? . . . ‘Do you want to be asuccess on the films, do you want to be married, do you want children – what?’

           ‘I don’t know.’

      ‘But youmust, Netta.  You must know somethingabout what you want.’

      ‘No, I don’t,’she said vaguely, looking at a passing waiter, and speaking as a mother, watchingthe screen at a cinema might speak to her talkative child.  ‘Do you know what you want?’

      ‘Yes.Of course I do.  I know what I want.’

           ‘What?,’ shesaid, and looked at him.

      He pausedfor a moment, reluctant to start anything. He knew it could lead nowhere, could do him no good.  But why shouldn’t he make love to heronce in a way, why shouldn’t he get something backfrom the money he was spending, a littleof the luxury of telling her he loved her, of speaking his heart.  He hadn’t opened his heart to her for months.

   

      ‘I want you, Netta,’ he said, looking into her eyes. ‘That’s all I want.’

      ‘Allright,’ she said.  ‘So what?’

      ‘Whatdo you mean,’ he said, ‘So what?’’

          ‘Just “So what”,’  said Netta, and she was again looking at thepeople in the room behind him.

Illustrations:

Top:  Alex Katz: Ann Lauterbach, 1978

Bottom: Alex Katz:  Pas De Deux (Red Grooms and Lizzy Ross), 1994

Music Link: On Obsession (Peter Blegvad) 

Text:  Patrick Hamilton, Hangover Square (The Third Part, Chapter 4).  London, Constable, 1941.